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Thursday

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Inherited Items

is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:

Inherited Items

The Brief:

There is something very special about inheriting an item from a family member. It doesn't have to be the riches, in terms of monetary value, or in the finest condition. Sometimes, just knowing that an item has stood the test of time in whatever shape it is now, is enough.

That link between the past, present and future as you in turn pass it along.

This week share those thoughts, memories and pictures. Lets having a trip down memory lane as with the passing along of each item there is always memories attached.

Items passed along
Inherited Items are something that cannot every be replaced. Its not the cost of them, its who the item has represented. In fact, things haven't exactly been explained to me when they have been handed down.They were here you go. It wasn't until I was older I understood what happened.

Grandma Jean
Grandma Jean I spent alot of time with growing up. I used to spend two weeks of the year with her, which was interesting as I never knew what we'd get up to, but I did know we would drive some place in her car, watch "Days of Our Lives" and play cards. These things she loved to do.

One of the other things she passed along was Polish foods - usually what we term Bow Ties and another dumpling type of food. She did make pickled pigs feet, but I never liked them. Now every Christmas, or when I'm thinking about her, I make the Bow Ties.

Bow ties or chrusciki I made

When I was about 9 or 10, she once gave me a small pot with some small cups. She said she played with them when she was growing up. She then gave them to me. Because of our constant moving, they were broken over time, which always made me sad. Out of the whole set, I only have one tiny cup left which I've glued together.

Great Cousin James (Jimmy)
The other thing that was given to me by my mother, was her cousin Jimmy's air force wings. I have mentioned these before in my posts. He gave these to her on his last night of his leave before he was shipped out. About 3 weeks later, he was killed in a flight.

Great Cousin Jimmy's wings

What makes these so much more important was when I asked my mother what happened to him and why was he killed and buried, she didn't know. This was one of the two persons (the other was my Grandma Jean) who got me started in genealogy. Because of this, I feel a special connection to them both.

Mystery solved - what happened to Great Cousin Jimmy

Great Grandpa Adam
I do know my great grandfather Adam (Grandma Jean's father) had left my father a watch which was powered by the pulse in your arm. My father then gave it to my brother, Charlie, as he was the only male heir. I'm not sure where it is today.

Our "Children"
Since the children were confirmed, we celebrate these each year by remembering them when we put an ornament on the tree. As its looking more and more likely we won't have children, I'm not sure if anyone will continue this tradition once we are gone.

Our 2 confirmed pregnancies - angel is our Feb baby I miscarried and the bootie is for Jamie Sweetpea who was our ectopic pregnancy.

Mental / Emotional Abuse
Unfortunately, this is one of the things that must be talked about when you mention things passed down in my family. It must be talked about in order to stop the cycles. From what I've been able to find, on my maternal side, my grandfather did it (but so did my great grandfather to him and his siblings too), my great grandfather Jagodzinski (mother's mother's father) I believe did it as well (because none of his children wanted anything to do with him), my father wasn't a sterling example either, but I'm not sure if his father could have passed it down as well. As you can tell, each time the abuse occurred it was carried down the line. Its time it has to stop. Thankfully, as far as I can tell, this has been done with my generation for the most part.
The Future
Rings
I know one thing my grandmother wanted was to pass down rings to each of the girls in the family. The rings were solitaires of their birth stone. My grandmother bought one for me and had me promise to hand it down. However, the stone came out and then upon moving the band part of the ring was lost. I have plans to replace this as soon as I can.

Further, once I am able, I will buy my 3 nieces rings and they all can be passed down from them to their children. Again, if we are ever blessed with a living child, they too, will get a ring or watch as well to pass down.

Ornaments
Also, in the past 2 years, as I've been finding out more about my backgrounds, I have bought unique Christmas ornaments for each name of the family. I have then labelled them with the family name and have it labelled in both English as well as the language that was common to them. Note: I haven't been able to source any from Belgium or Denmark, so I haven't been able to do those sides of the family. If I don't find them soon, I will have to get the ornaments from another place close to those countries.

Stories
I have plans to write up each persons life story as far as I can find it and give those out as well. However, this might take me a lifetime to do to do everyone as I am still in the research mode.

As you can see, you have many different ways you can remember people. As they are part of you, they should be remembered - from the good to the bad. This is the only way to stop the circles of abuse and meanness that has been passed down from one generation to the next.

Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Godparents

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

The prompt for the week is:

Godparents

The Brief:

Did / Do your Godparents feature a great deal in your life
Do you know your Godparents?
How do they link in to your family?
Other stories or influences from your Godparents
Are you Godparents to anyone?

I guess the best way to start this prompt would be to state the facts as I know them.

Facts:

I was baptized as Catholic or Roman Catholic sometime in the last part of 1972.
The baptism was done at St. Patrick's Church in Newburgh, New York.
I did/do have godparents; however I do not know, for certain, who these are. My oldest sister, Theresa, said that she wanted to be one but my mother told her she was too young.
My baby book, which was given to me by my mother, was destroyed in a house fire in May 1997, before I had a chance to read it.

May 1997 newspaper about the fire

As you can see, I do have godparents but don't actually know who they are. I only know the baptism took place at St. Patrick's because my sister said we all were baptized there. However, I do not know for certainty this is the case due to the loss of my baby book.

From St. Patrick's Flickr page

I have tried to contact St. Patrick's in the past and have never received a response. I will have to try and contact them again to see if I can get a copy of the certificate. It would be interesting to see who my godparents are/were.

Note to self: Contact St. Patrick's again for certificate.

Religion in my life

Growing up, religion was never a big part of my life. I have always put it down to something to do with my grandmother Janet or everyone was just too busy to go. As far as I can remember, I've never regularly gone to church. My grandmother Janet was apparently almost consumed with praying and the church, to the point where this was a major factor when they put her into a mental hospital. I think this played a major factor into how church was looked at with myself and my siblings.

Trinity Lutheran Church where I went a few times growing up

Growing up, I have gone to many of the different religious churches and/or places. I have always been curious and gave almost everything a try at one point. I did not convert, but I went and watched the different services and sometimes even went to Sunday school which was weird because I wondered why kids would go to more school on the weekend when they didn't have to.

While in high school, I was always too busy to go. This does seem like a cop out, but when you need money to survive to live, sometimes you must make sacrifices. During these times and into college, I was either in class, studying, or working. The little time that was left over I spent sleeping, making meals or shopping for food. There was no other time left.

The alter at St. Patrick's where my grandmother and uncle's funerals were held

I do remember when my grandmother passed away, my uncle had to talk to St. Patrick's in order for my grandmother's services to be held there. My uncle attended the church every Sunday without fail. Then when came the time for my uncle's services, they had the full service. I still remember this day as it was very hot out and someone in the group asked if they walked in would the church fall down on them because they haven't been in so long. It was funny, in a way, the way it was said because we were all in the same thinking area.

To Believe or not to Believe
I do believe in everything that is Catholic and, for the most part, support it. The only thing I don't do is go to church. That being said, were were not married in the church, only because of the look we wanted and because my husband has never been baptized to his knowledge. We also didn't want to sit through classes, and didn't have the time, due to immigration restrictions.

It was these beliefs, in the thoughts of trying for children, make things so hard. I still remember the day it was confirmed I was pregnant. Then came the tiny bit of spotting. Upon going into the hospital, they found the baby was in my tube - ectopic pregnancy. There was only one way to save my life - to take the baby's. No way, no how that's how I felt and they knew a battle was on as it went against all
of my religious beliefs. Then it came to me, the Pope had revised the views - if it was to save the life of the mother. I was still against it, but understood it was ok by the church but my convictions still, even to this day, say it shouldn't have happened. True, I would be gone, but at least I wouldn't then have to deal with the guilt of killing a baby. Again, this is to do with faith as well as myself internally.

Respect of Each Other
Everyone either believes or doesn't believe in religion. Everyone is different in the ways they look at things. I have friends that are of all faiths - ones that don't believe at all through to the ones that believe and they attend the faith of their heart sometimes many times a week. To me it doesn't matter as its just apart of the person. The persons I have a hard time with are the ones that continuously state over and over again and won't talk about anything else but their chosen religion. To me, these people sound like they are trying to brain wash others to their way of thinking and that's just not right.

Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.

Sunday

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Movies

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

The prompt for the week is:

Movies

The Brief:

What is your feel good movie?
Can you remember the first time you went to the cinema?

What did you see?
Can you remember the price?
Who did you go with?
Recall those magical movie moments?

What is your favourite movie or favourite genre?

Growing up, I loved movies, but they had to be on TV or else I couldn't see them as we didn't have extra money to go to the movies. Usually they had to be playing on normal TV to be watched and then it was HBO or Cinemax as that was the only cable we had.

Drive ins
I do know I did go to the drive ins with my oldest sister, Theresa a bit. The last movie I saw in one of those was in Maybrook and it was "On Golden Pond" in 1981. The drive in only survived until about 1997 or 1998 when it was turned into apartment houses.

Today we do go to the drive in that's about 10 minutes down the road on the South Gippsland freeway. I can't remember what was the first movie we went there to see though.

Movie Theaters
I can't remember what the first movie was that I saw. It might have even been into my teens before I went to a movie theater. I do know when I was in my teens, I did go and see movies, but usually it was the latest Star Wars movie that was out.

Feel Good Movies & Genre

I don't have a feel good movie really. I do know I watch a lot of romance movies, like the Danielle Steele movies, or Hallmark movies. Sometimes the TV stations even put these movies on during the day or on the weekends when they think no one's at home.

I do like comedy but I have to be in the mood for it or I need to be cheered up. Action and murder, I must be in the mood to watch them.

I do have some older tickets of the movie tickets but I have to dig them out as they are around here some place.

Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Is Blood thicker than Water?

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

The prompt for the week is:

Is Blood thicker than Water?

The Brief:

We all have them.

Family that are like friends
Family that are like acquaintances
Friends that are like family
Friends that are new, but seem old ones!
Family members that are like strangers
Emotional links to generations past?

Does it matter how we feel about the friends and family we have?

Is it a case of when the times comes family comes first?
Define good friends
How do you distinguish friends -

real
virtual
colleagues
long term friends
does it not matter

This is an interesting post and topic. As growing up I only knew my immediate family and my grandmother and uncle on my father's side. However, I had friends through the different schools I went to. In fact, most of my friends today are from those days (some I've known over 35 years!). By high school I had pretty much figured out who is a true friend and ones that say they are but either they talk about you behind your back or stab you in some way. There are some friends that are friends but they are the quiet sort. I've got a range of the different friends.

In fact, some of my friends are closer to me than even my family his - a sad but true fact. People who are your family should love and respect you unconditionally - although you will have fights and argue over time which is a sign of a healthy relationship - but they shouldn't just ignore you until they want something. With my family, you really do need a score card of who's talking to whom and who's ignoring whom, because without it, you are lost.

New found family
Now that being said, I've now found some cousins and an uncle that I never knew existed. We are slowly getting to know each other and have found we have common likes and dislikes and goals in life which is great. We're finding that bond of family. Hopefully, it will continue to grow and the families will reunite as they should.

Direct family members

Now that being said, I do have one "outstanding" sister. She's a bitch and admits she's a bitch and is actually proud of that fact. Personally, I wouldn't be, but to each their own. I haven't spoken to her in about 18 years. Why? Well, let's just say I had enough of the name calling and other things she spoke about and it was time to say enough. I'm not the only one she's alienated over the years. Our other 2 sisters don't want contact with her as well because she's done something similar to them I think. I think her 2 sons have seen the light and have backed away from her as well. I do have some contact with at least one of them, although its not regular contact.

You can never have too much family. I know mine seems to overwhelm me in large amounts, but you take time out for other things and then family isn't so bad.

Friends
Like I stated above, I have had some friends over 35 years. We don't talk every day but we don't need to. We respect each other and if there's anything any of us needs, the others will be there for us.

That being said, there are others who try and use these friendships to either get further or just turn against you and say awful things they know aren't true. These are the testing friendships - usually I give people a warning or two and then I throw up my hands and walk away. I figure if they want the relationship bad enough, then they will contact me to talk about it.

I also have friends which are more of acquaintances because we don't actually talk about anything other than what's currently happening but we don't generally meld together though hobbies and such. Its not a bad thing, its just more of a general friend relationship rather than a deeper emotional one is all.

Virtual Friends
I do have some of these, where we met online through something happening or a hobby but we never met in person. Sometimes these do intend to cross over to IRL (in real life) meetings. Back when we (hubby and I) first started using the internet and Bulletin Boards (yes we've been around that long), we used to have "meets". In fact, when I moved to Australia, I had a small group of people I "met" online meet me at the airport along with hubby and his family. Then later on, I went to a few meets here in Melbourne to catch up with them. In fact, we had a table at our wedding for people who would attend meets that met online!

In conclusion, relationships are what you make of them. You must judge each person on their actions and what they say and not what others tell you. Why? Well that's simple, if someone wants the others to look or feel in a bad way, by telling another person a lie or twisted fact which could cause their relationship to turn. Only your experiences will tell you want is right and wrong with each person. It doesn't matter if this is a friends or family - as we are all people and its in how you treat each other.

Some pictures of my friends & family:

Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.

Friday

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Addresses and Locations

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

The prompt for the week is:

Addresses and Locations

The Brief:

Are there addresses and locations from your childhood you can recall?
Can you remember your next door neighbours?

Their name
What they looked like
What car they drove (if any)

Addresses of family and friends
Describe the houses
Shops
Clubs
Do you have any pictures - houses, street signs etc

Locations:
I can recall most of the places I've lived which is quite a few since my mother - for some unknown reason - loves to move about every 3-5 years. She always gives great excuses, but its a pattern that I'm not sure why she got into as everyone else in her family stays at locations for years.
We've stayed in the following places:

Newburgh
Walden
Maybrook
Montgomery
Lyon Mountain

Neighbours:
I do still remember some neighbours. These are:

The trailer park - I used to go and talk to another little girl in one of the houses behind and another who visited her grandparents who lived next our trailer.
South Montgomery Street, Walden - I still talk to one of the families that lived first in front and then behind the places we rented
Capron Street, Walden - the sister/brother who lived across the street
Next to Jim Brady's/White Rabbit Inn in Montgomery (going towards Walden) - I still talk to a few of the people I hung out there with
And the other places, I didn't really get to know the neighbours - usually because we didn't speak to each other.

Picture Recall:

Some pictures I do have of where we lived and others are at my mothers in photo albums. I will put a few of the pictures up that I do have. Further, I've been looking up our old houses in Google Earth and then taking a "snapshot" of the buildings now if I could. As there are many addresses, I will pick only some to do.

Birth - late 1970s - Newburgh (that's me with the puppies)


Same house taken from Google Earth 2013

1970s. We stayed here (bottom) when my mother left my father for a short time

1970s. We then stayed on Walnut Street (the weird shaped building was the elementary school) for a bit

1970s. We then moved to get a bigger place when my sister came to visit (above the agency)

1980s. This was the trailer park. We lived in the most back corner with the loop - away from everyone.

1980s. We then moved into the this lane (middle of page) We stayed at the 3rd house (with tree) and then moved to the top house

About 1988. The house we lived at in Lyon Mountain. We rented the back and my sister rented the front.

1988-191This changed ALOT. When we lived here, by Jim Brady's, it was a duplex with 2 steps leading up into the house. We lived closest to the telephone pole.

1989-1991 lived on first level (my car is in the front!)

1991-1997 we lived on the top part (the yellow boards with fire escape)

Hope you liked the picture list.

Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - How do you measure success?

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

The prompt for the week is:

How do you measure success?

The Brief:

Can success be measured?
Medals or Trophies
Money or reward
Status
Personal Knowledge
Achievements
How others view you?

Award for participation in Basketball

When I was growing up, I used to measure success by going to school and bring home good grades. Then when I started to run, play basketball and other athletic things, I measured it, at first, by making it through first a game and then the season. This included some of the runs I did where I actually did get mentioned in the newspaper and by getting a trophy.

Two of my running trophy's (see newspaper clippings)

My placement in one of the 4th of July races in Walden NY (Wallkill Valley Times)

Award for most trying & most improved in Elementary School

I was also trying very hard at school. I did get a medal for the most improved student and found that when I tried harder, I could do it, but I had to try ALOT as I know what I want to say its just hard getting it out and down. I always got very frustrated at myself, others and subjects because I knew what I had to do, but I couldn't put it down on paper. However, it took me years to get it to the point of being able to put it down either on paper on the keyboard. I've only just become more able to do this within the last handful of years. I also starting thinking success was in the bank balance - meaning I had to find a job that paid big bucks to be successful.

Placed 4th in the NYS conference award

Outstanding Student Award

By the time I got towards the end of college, I started to realize it was the small things that really count - being acknowledged for a job well done - handshake, hug, slap on the back - all counted. Yes, you couldn't revisit them, unless it was by memory, but at least it was an acknowledgement.

Trade School Honor Society

High School Honor Society

Does you family celebrate?
I didn't realize until after my high school and trade school graduations in 1991, that you were supposed to be congratulated, praised and usually there was a celebration mixed in. It was really weird to me because when my graduations happened, and I went to other graduation parties and were talking to others, they were all celebrating and having parties. I quickly figured out that was what people did.

When I graduated and celebrations before and after

My family didn't, and still don't, do things like normal families. My family does buy the cards, and may put either money or a gift with it, which was handed, or almost shoved, at me afterwards. They said congratulations and walked away. My mother, for my high school graduation, complained the whole way home because she was cold and would probably catch pneumonia because it had started to rain and we had to go inside while her and my sister went and sat in the car. There was no dinner, no party, no nothing - a normal day resumed after we got home. For my college graduation, my mother and nieces went (I drove my car) and I forced the issue with celebration - I met a group of friends and we finished getting ready together and after took pictures together. However, after I dropped my neices off and we went home, again it was like a normal day. This time, however, a few days after I had planned to have celebrations where I worked by renting a few rooms and, after clearing them out, I had one for food, one for dancing and partying (games, etc) and one for people who wanted to sit around and talk quietly. My mother did go and sat in the one room and talked quietly to some of the others. I paid for the whole thing myself, but at least I had a celebration of sorts.

When I started to work for Manpower Temp agency I got this award for my work.

After that, I gave up. I don't celebrate my birthday and if I get a certificate or anything else, I just don't celebrate it. Its just too depressing. Only because of my husband did we even have a proper wedding and reception because if it was left up to me, we probably wouldn't have had one.

Do you celebrate anything later in life?
Even to this day, I just don't celebrate anything other than holidays because I've found each time I counted on something, from growing up and into adulthood in my life, it just wouldn't either happen or something bad would happen. In fact, when I got my Certificate IV in Web Based Technology, which I got high distinction (think high 90's out of 100), nothing was done other than me saying thank god I'm done and receiving the certificate in the mail.

My latest Certificate in 2014

Now I measure things in I'm alive what else can life throw at me rather than how far can I reach, which is sad.

How do others see you?
When I was going to school, I had a few friends that would call me brainac (lovingly). It didn't really matter to me because I had nothing to judge and only what I saw others do. I think it annoyed them I had so many good grades without really trying or so they thought. However, what they didn't see was even though they didn't have the upper grades like me, they were the ones that were richer - they had a family that was happy for them with hugs and kisses on the day and the celebrations. In my eyes, I saw they were the richer ones than myself. However, I do know of at least one that thought I was in the better position because of the grades.

This is what a friend wrote after I failed either a mid of final exam.

Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.