"The Book of Me, Written by You" - How do you measure success?

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:    

How do you measure success?

The Brief:

• Can success be measured?
• Medals or Trophies
• Money or reward
• Status
• Personal Knowledge
• Achievements
• How others view you?

Award for participation in Basketball

When I was growing up, I used to measure success by going to school and bring home good grades. Then when I started to run, play basketball and other athletic things, I measured it, at first, by making it through first a game and then the season. This included some of the runs I did where I actually did get mentioned in the newspaper and by getting a trophy.

Two of my running trophy's (see newspaper clippings)

My placement in one of the 4th of July races in Walden NY (Wallkill Valley Times)

Award for most trying & most improved in Elementary School

I was also trying very hard at school. I did get a medal for the most improved student and found that when I tried harder, I could do it, but I had to try ALOT as I know what I want to say its just hard getting it out and down. I always got very frustrated at myself, others and subjects because I knew what I had to do, but I couldn't put it down on paper. However, it took me years to get it to the point of being able to put it down either on paper on the keyboard. I've only just become more able to do this within the last handful of years. I also starting thinking success was in the bank balance - meaning I had to find a job that paid big bucks to be successful.

Placed 4th in the NYS conference award

Outstanding Student Award

By the time I got towards the end of college, I started to realize it was the small things that really count - being acknowledged for a job well done - handshake, hug, slap on the back - all counted. Yes, you couldn't revisit them, unless it was by memory, but at least it was an acknowledgement.
 

Trade School Honor Society

High School Honor Society

Does you family celebrate?
I didn't realize until after my high school and trade school graduations in 1991, that you were supposed to be congratulated, praised and usually there was a celebration mixed in. It was really weird to me because when my graduations happened, and I went to other graduation parties and were talking to others, they were all celebrating and having parties. I quickly figured out that was what people did.

When I graduated and celebrations before and after

My family didn't, and still don't, do things like normal families. My family does buy the cards, and may put either money or a gift with it, which was handed, or almost shoved, at me afterwards. They said congratulations and walked away.  My mother, for my high school graduation, complained the whole way home because she was cold and would probably catch pneumonia because it had started to rain and we had to go inside while her and my sister went and sat in the car. There was no dinner, no party, no nothing - a normal day resumed after we got home.  For my college graduation, my mother and nieces went (I drove my car) and I forced the issue with celebration - I met a group of friends and we finished getting ready together and after took pictures together. However, after I dropped my neices off and we went home, again it was like a normal day. This time, however, a few days after I had planned to have celebrations where I worked by renting a few rooms and, after clearing them out, I had one for food, one for dancing and partying (games, etc) and one for people who wanted to sit around and talk quietly. My mother did go and sat in the one room and talked quietly to some of the others. I paid for the whole thing myself, but at least I had a celebration of sorts.

When I started to work for Manpower Temp agency I got this award for my work.

After that, I gave up. I don't celebrate my birthday and if I get a certificate or anything else, I just don't celebrate it. Its just too depressing. Only because of my husband did we even have a proper wedding and reception because if it was left up to me, we probably wouldn't have had one.

Do you celebrate anything later in life?
Even to this day, I just don't celebrate anything other than holidays because I've found each time I counted on something, from growing up and into adulthood in my life, it just wouldn't either happen or something bad would happen. In fact, when I got my Certificate IV in Web Based Technology, which I got high distinction (think high 90's out of 100), nothing was done other than me saying thank god I'm done and receiving the certificate in the mail.

My latest Certificate in 2014

Now I measure things in I'm alive what else can life throw at me rather than how far can I reach, which is sad.

How do others see you?
When I was going to school, I had a few friends that would call me brainac (lovingly). It didn't really matter to me because I had nothing to judge and only what I saw others do. I think it annoyed them I had so many good grades without really trying or so they thought. However, what they didn't see was even though they didn't have the upper grades like me, they were the ones that were richer - they had a family that was happy for them with hugs and kisses on the day and the celebrations. In my eyes, I saw they were the richer ones than myself. However, I do know of at least one that thought I was in the better position because of the grades.

This is what a friend wrote after I failed either a mid of final exam.

  Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.