"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Memory Tree

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:    

Memory Tree

The Brief:

 As we head into the festive / holiday season I want us to think of those who will not be with us for the season. If this was your memory tree who would you put on the tree and why?
This can of course be friends and family, but what about former pets and colleagues.

I guess the question is who is on the memory tree. Every year when we put up the tree, we have ornaments which are respective of people or pets that have been close to us. However, for my husband's side of the family, he hasn't done anything like this.

Our 2014 tree

On the tree are in remembrance ornaments. I started this in 2013 for each of my Polish ancestor families - Wojtkowski/Wojtkowska, Jagodzinski, and Ostrzycki. This was because I found Polish ornaments that were made in Poland.

I haven't been able to find ornaments for Denmark or Belgium. If I don't, then I'll have to get ornaments from countries near there and put a tag on them like I have the ones from Poland.

We have remembrance ornaments for the 2 babies we lost - our February baby and Jamie Sweetpea.

Also, we have remembrance ornaments for past dogs - JR, our Jack Russell, and Jackie, our terrier cross. We do have one for our current dog, Buddy (another Jack Russell), but it does not have an end date on it.

All year around we have pictures out of people who have passed - Brett's "Uncle Al", Brett's friend Mrs. Hodges and now Brett's grandmother, Wendy.


  Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.    

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Inherited Items

is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:    

Inherited Items

The Brief:

There is something very special about inheriting an item from a family member. It doesn't have to be the riches, in terms of monetary value, or in the finest condition. Sometimes, just knowing that an item has stood the test of time in whatever shape it is now, is enough.

That link between the past, present and future as you in turn pass it along.

This week share those thoughts, memories and pictures. Lets having a trip down memory lane as with the passing along of each item there is always memories attached.

Items passed along
Inherited Items are something that cannot every be replaced. Its not the cost of them, its who the item has represented. In fact, things haven't exactly been explained to me when they have been handed down.They were here you go. It wasn't until I was older I understood what happened.


Grandma Jean
Grandma Jean I spent alot of time with growing up. I used to spend two weeks of the year with her, which was interesting as I never knew what we'd get up to, but I did know we would drive some place in her car, watch "Days of Our Lives" and play cards. These things she loved to do.

One of the other things she passed along was Polish foods - usually what we term Bow Ties and another dumpling type of food. She did make pickled pigs feet, but I never liked them. Now every Christmas, or when I'm thinking about her, I make the Bow Ties.

Bow ties or chrusciki I made

When I was about 9 or 10, she once gave me a small pot with some small cups. She said she played with them when she was growing up. She then gave them to me. Because of our constant moving, they were broken over time, which always made me sad. Out of the whole set, I only have one tiny cup left which I've glued together.

Great Cousin James (Jimmy)
The other thing that was given to me by my mother, was her cousin Jimmy's air force wings. I have mentioned these before in my posts. He gave these to her on his last night of his leave before he was shipped out. About 3 weeks later, he was killed in a flight.

Great Cousin Jimmy's wings

What makes these so much more important was when I asked my mother what happened to him and why was he killed and buried, she didn't know. This was one of the two persons (the other was my Grandma Jean) who got me started in genealogy. Because of this, I feel a special connection to them both.

Mystery solved - what happened to Great Cousin Jimmy

Great Grandpa Adam
I do know my great grandfather Adam (Grandma Jean's father) had left my father a watch which was powered by the pulse in your arm. My father then gave it to my brother, Charlie, as he was the only male heir. I'm not sure where it is today.

Our "Children"
Since the children were confirmed, we celebrate these each year by remembering them when we put an ornament on the tree. As its looking more and more likely we won't have children, I'm not sure if anyone will continue this tradition once we are gone.

Our 2 confirmed pregnancies - angel is our Feb baby I miscarried and the bootie is for Jamie Sweetpea who was our ectopic pregnancy.

Mental / Emotional Abuse
Unfortunately, this is one of the things that must be talked about when you mention things passed down in my family. It must be talked about in order to stop the cycles. From what I've been able to find, on my maternal side, my grandfather did it (but so did my great grandfather to him and his siblings too), my great grandfather Jagodzinski (mother's mother's father) I believe did it as well (because none of his children wanted anything to do with him), my father wasn't a sterling example either, but I'm not sure if his father could have passed it down as well. As you can tell, each time the abuse occurred it was carried down the line. Its time it has to stop. Thankfully, as far as I can tell, this has been done with my generation for the most part.
The Future
Rings
I know one thing my grandmother wanted was to pass down rings to each of the girls in the family. The rings were solitaires of their birth stone. My grandmother bought one for me and had me promise to hand it down. However, the stone came out and then upon moving the band part of the ring was lost. I have plans to replace this as soon as I can.

Further, once I am able, I will buy my 3 nieces rings and they all can be passed down from them to their children. Again, if we are ever blessed with a living child, they too, will get a ring or watch as well to pass down.

Ornaments
Also, in the past 2 years, as I've been finding out more about my backgrounds, I have bought unique Christmas ornaments for each name of the family. I have then labelled them with the family name and have it labelled in both English as well as the language that was common to them. Note: I haven't been able to source any from Belgium or Denmark, so I haven't been able to do those sides of the family. If I don't find them soon, I will have to get the ornaments from another place close to those countries.

Stories
I have plans to write up each persons life story as far as I can find it and give those out as well. However, this might take me a lifetime to do to do everyone as I am still in the research mode.

As you can see, you have many different ways you can remember people. As they are part of you, they should be remembered - from the good to the bad. This is the only way to stop the circles of abuse and meanness that has been passed down from one generation to the next.

  Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.    

The Book of Me, Written by You - on Snow

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:    

Snow

The Brief:

Do you live in area where you routinely have snow?
How old were you when you first saw snow?
Do you remember it?
Did you make snowmen?
Throw Snowballs?
Sledge Rides ?
What is the image that first came to mind when you read snow?
What does snow feel like, smell like ?
How do you see snow ?

The video is on YouTube. 

I have covered this topic a bit when I posted in this series about My Favorite Season. I do love snow and winter which is a bit strange for most people. I love or used to love going for walks when its snowing out and everything is covered in it. Its very quiet and you can hear the crunching of it under your feet. Around the holidays, like Christmas, when you go for a walk, you walk by houses that have taken the time to decorate with lights and with the falling snow its so pretty. Then add to almost no traffic and the quiet its quite magical. As I used to walk around in the snow, while hearing the crunch of it under my feet and looking at all of the lights, from time to time you could see into people's homes at the joy, happiness and love that shines through from the families that you see. That being said, as much as the views that you can see, it can bring out - especially if you walk by yourself - is the feeling of being quite alone and loneliness of not having what you are seeing. Depending on what your view is, it can bring about of both happiness and loneliness at the same time. 

Growing up

I grew up in upstate New York (around Walden, Maybrook, and Newburgh areas) and I had snow from the time I was born onwards until I moved from NY in 1997. When I was growing up, we

One of my last winter's in NY before moving to Australia

would get slammed with major snow storms from November until sometimes April. I don't think there was one child that when they looked out the window in the mornings, and didn't wish for snow because if there was snow, you would turn the radio on to see if you had either a delay or a free day off from school. The radio stations would announce if there was a snow delay (of 1 or 2 hours) or if school was cancelled for the day. 

I remember those days when it was delayed, but snowing to the point where you were frozen and couldn't see, we lived on the outside of town and would walk from there into the school - on a good day it could taken you 30 minutes and during snowing and iciness it could take you over an hour. 

Visiting the US during winter

My husband in front of both Falls in 2010 when its snowing

I remember snow very well. It was almost 4 years ago when I wanted my husband to experience true snow for the first time and we planned our trip over there in January/February. The only time we really got snow was when we went to Niagara Falls and there was a tiny bit when we landed in Fort Worth Dallas airport which ended up being cancelled because of the snow (it was less than 6 inches but it was like 3 feet to them because they just don't have the stuff very often). We ended up spending the night sleeping in the airport. 

Canadian side of the Falls when it was snowing  in 2010.

 

We really didn't get much snow, but it got really cold for my husband. He did some driving and that was an experience he will never forget. He did go outside with my nieces and their children to play but there wasn't enough of it to really play in. 

 

 

Did I ever go sleigh riding? Throwing snowballs? Make Snowmen? 

The hill where we used to go (along with many others) when I was young

My mother didn't have a lot of money but what we did get was one sleigh a year if we were lucky. If not then I sat down on well compacted ground that people had already used and went down the hill in my jeans and jacket with gloves and hat. With ice, I would use my sneakers on ice to ice skate. It was cheap, free and fun. 

The pond and where the house is now used to be where we would sleigh ride in 1980s.

Growing up, I spent this time with my nieces and we would go sleigh riding and making snowmen together. These pictures (above) are both places we used to visit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Driving and Snow

My mother digging out the car in 2003

I grew up around snow and this includes driving in the stuff. I hated digging out the car, waiting while the car was warming up, and then if someone wasn't good at driving in it (or its one of the first snowfalls of the year) then you had to always watch out for other people. Its always the other people you had to watch out for because once you got on snow or ice and started to slip, you were just a passenger and couldn't control the car at all. That's a downside as well. Add that to what you had to walk around in (slush) when the snow started to melt and its a pain in the butt. However, for the beauty and magical feel of it, I still consider it well worth the trouble.

Memories of Snow

I remember one Christmas, my mother, her boyfriend, myself, my brother and sister in law went over to my father's for our presents. We all went in one car, to save everyone gas. Anyhow, we ended up leaving early, after we got tired waiting for my father, and the roads were getting bad with snow and ice. On our way home, we slowed down because we saw a snow plow that was at an intersection in front of us at the stop sign. We stopped about a car length behind it. Anyhow, as we were waiting for the snow plow to move, the driver put it in reverse and before we knew what was happening, they backed up right into our car. My mother's boyfriend and my brother got out and ran up to the driver yelling at him. The one thing that rang, and still rings, in my ears is that my sister in law was pregnant and my brother was very worried about her even though she was sitting in the backseat with us and at the other end of the car from where the plow hit. This is now we found out my sister in law was pregnant. Thankfully, the pregnancy went full term and my nephew Charles Jr was born. It was a bad and good memory wrapped up in one. 

Even today, if we were over in the US and it was snowing, I would take the time out to go for a walk and just walk around seeing the snow. It certainly is a magical time of the year.

Australia and Snow

Christmas Day 2006's hail storm

As of 1997, I don't really get to see snow any longer. Well, if we wanted to "go visit it" where they make it up on the higher elevations then we could do that, but its too much work for not enough of an award. We do get hail from time to time and my husband runs around excited at that. In a way, its very funny to watch him go nuts over some hail, but if it makes him happy then go for it. However, sometimes I still have problems dealing with not being able to do many of the things I've discussed here - driving, snowballs, sleigh riding, etc - because overall I do LOVE the snow. I'm seriously thinking about asking Santa to bring a snow making machine, so I can still have a white Christmas... I wonder if it would work...?

Check back next week for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.   

  

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Unexplained Memories

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:   

Unexplained Memories

The Brief:
 Do you have an unexplained memory or memories?
Items
Places
People

Things and times you can remember, but you are not sure where they fit into your past 

The short video presentation is available on YouTube

I have many memories of growing up. First, when my parents, who later divorced, were still together and then after the divorce. Most I remember where, and a general age of myself, everyone was when the memory happened. 

There was two places my mother visited when I was very small. One of the places, was when I was in a car seat and it was before my parents divorced. It was on a road called Drury Lane (now call North and South Drury Lane) and my mother, who had just started driving, drove her small little car down

this street and took a left. The gravel road went up this steep hill and she turned right and the house was there among the trees. I remember the slope of the driveway because the car went almost 90 degrees up the driveway. I was able to find an updated picture of what I think is the road from Google maps. The road has been redirected because of the local airport getting an upgrade. Anyhow, I do know it was a relative of my mother's somehow, but I'm not sure who.

The 2nd mystery location

There is one other building which is from the time when my mother and father were divorcing. I know she used to bring me to this house, near Newburgh, NY, and leave me there with cartoons turned on. She did this a few times - brought me into this house, turned on the TV and told them that I'd just sit there in front of the TV and told them she'd back soon. Off she went and a few hours later, she'd come back. It might be another relative but I'm not sure.

My Mother's Memory

I know my mother has a memory when she was growing up of someone important in the family had died and they had the person laid out in the living room for people to come and pay their respects. There was a candle at each end of the coffin that was there about a week. She says she still can see it and it gives her the chills because of the dead body. She was about 8-10 years old.

Example of a person laid out for respects.

  

This picture I obtained from here.       

It was only upon my reading of rituals of the Polish history, that I found that this was common within families. I did ask her if it was her grandfather or grandmother but she really didn't know. This is

interesting to me because it shows just how much influence region and Polish rituals still were kept once they settled into their "new" country.


Check back next week for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.   

Remembrance – what’s in a word?

When someone says remembrance, what do you think of? Some think of soldiers who have fought, so we can be free. Others think of their loved ones who have passed and whom they miss and others just say, “So what? It’s just a word?” or is it just a word?  When you take a look at the word remembrance, I find that it is such a small word for the feelings and emotion that it brings to some of us.  In which group do you find yourself falling into? 

When I was growing up, I was in the “So what? It’s just a word” group. However, once I started thinking, learning and feeling I started a journey that has brought me across all of these groups one by one. Where am I now in this journey? I’m across them all I have to say. Why you may ask? This is what this blog post is about. 

Remembrance of those who have fought for us to be free

When I was in my teens and 20’s, I started to understand little by little just what these soldiers in all shapes and forms have done for us and some have paid the ultimate sacrifice of their lives. This was a difficult understanding for me, as I was a US Navy brat growing up. I felt we were all given the short end of the stick when it came to the people who served.  It seemed to me that all we (as military brats) received was a parent (or in today’s world – parents) gone most of the time, when they were around we were either ignored or told to be quiet or put to work. Even when there was a public holiday or after a day when they were away from work, we “lost” them to parades or committees. 

J. Sherman (Staff Sergeant, U.S. Army Air Force)

my mother's cousin who died in World War 2

On the flip side, once I learned about my mother’s cousin, who paid the ultimate sacrifice in World War 2, I understand why soldiers do what they do. Now every time there is a time of silence, I think about why they went into the service and what the ones, who never returned to us, must have been feeling in those last moments.

So, yes, we may be military brats, but we are also the ones that are there to support and remember the ones who are never to return to us for making that ultimate sacrifice. We must think not only of the soldier that have made that sacrifice but those of us who are there to support and grasp what little time we do get with them even as hard as it may be.  Think about it - if we didn’t have those soldiers to make those sacrifices, where would we be today as the country you may live in and as you as a person?

Loved ones who have passed and whom we may miss

We all have lost someone that we love. Whether it’s a close family member or someone that we might not have known we all still do remember or think of what they could have been like.  There are people who are gone, and we sit there and ask over and over again, why him and not someone else. Then there are others that are gone that you wish you could have back just for the tiniest moments to get a hug, some advice, or find out what their life was like. Unfortunately, the time for all these things is in the past, but that doesn’t make remembering them any different.

The headstone of my grandfather, Louis, 

and his sister, Florence, near New Windsor, NY.

Now as I’m getting older, I’m finding myself ask questions about the ones who have passed whom I may and may not have known. By researching my family history, on all sides, I’m finding I keep asking myself, what would that person have been like? Would they have been someone everyone liked or were they an abusive person (either mentally or physically) in which their own children couldn’t even stand?  Couple that with history of the different countries and governments, and after a while, you could really start to understand why people could have been like they were but keeping in mind things may not have been as they have seemed. Remember it’s only been in the last 20 or so years, that people don’t keep up appearances as they once did. Further, things that were socially acceptable over 20 years ago are not so acceptable now – and vice versa.

In my thoughts at this point in the year, my remembrance meaning is about what we, as a couple, have lost personally. If I had been able to carry to term, we would have a 10 year old child this week. It does seem hard to believe, but it would have been a fact. It came down to the simple fact that either both of us would not have survived or only one of us. The fact is I was the one that ended up

surviving because the baby was in the wrong spot. As with the other loved ones who have passed, I sit here thinking about what would the baby been like – it’s personally, looks, and character. This is something we will never know, because that baby, child, tween has never been born unfortunately. This is where my thoughts are this week in regards to remembrance. Does that make any less meaningful than the other loved ones that have passed? No, but to me, it is something we’ll never have, my husband and I, with this baby.

In closing, recently I asked people on my Facebook account what the word remembrance means to people on there, I had the responses of:

• Someone's life, memories
• Funerals and lives lived
• After someone has died, thinking back appreciatively about all the good things they have done in their lifetime
• Slouch hats, the last post, medals

All of which I have covered here in this blog entry. Remembrance is what you bring of it and that’s a lot like life – we can sit there and remember but we also have to get out and live life – both those who have lived and who now live would want us to do that, but there come times when we just have to stop and take a break and to remember them. If we don’t, some of life’s lessons may get overlooked. I know when the end credits roll for me (as the George Strait song goes) I want people to think of me more along the lines of hero rather than villain.