Remembrance – what’s in a word?

When someone says remembrance, what do you think of? Some think of soldiers who have fought, so we can be free. Others think of their loved ones who have passed and whom they miss and others just say, “So what? It’s just a word?” or is it just a word?  When you take a look at the word remembrance, I find that it is such a small word for the feelings and emotion that it brings to some of us.  In which group do you find yourself falling into? 

When I was growing up, I was in the “So what? It’s just a word” group. However, once I started thinking, learning and feeling I started a journey that has brought me across all of these groups one by one. Where am I now in this journey? I’m across them all I have to say. Why you may ask? This is what this blog post is about. 

Remembrance of those who have fought for us to be free

When I was in my teens and 20’s, I started to understand little by little just what these soldiers in all shapes and forms have done for us and some have paid the ultimate sacrifice of their lives. This was a difficult understanding for me, as I was a US Navy brat growing up. I felt we were all given the short end of the stick when it came to the people who served.  It seemed to me that all we (as military brats) received was a parent (or in today’s world – parents) gone most of the time, when they were around we were either ignored or told to be quiet or put to work. Even when there was a public holiday or after a day when they were away from work, we “lost” them to parades or committees. 

J. Sherman (Staff Sergeant, U.S. Army Air Force)

my mother's cousin who died in World War 2

On the flip side, once I learned about my mother’s cousin, who paid the ultimate sacrifice in World War 2, I understand why soldiers do what they do. Now every time there is a time of silence, I think about why they went into the service and what the ones, who never returned to us, must have been feeling in those last moments.

So, yes, we may be military brats, but we are also the ones that are there to support and remember the ones who are never to return to us for making that ultimate sacrifice. We must think not only of the soldier that have made that sacrifice but those of us who are there to support and grasp what little time we do get with them even as hard as it may be.  Think about it - if we didn’t have those soldiers to make those sacrifices, where would we be today as the country you may live in and as you as a person?

Loved ones who have passed and whom we may miss

We all have lost someone that we love. Whether it’s a close family member or someone that we might not have known we all still do remember or think of what they could have been like.  There are people who are gone, and we sit there and ask over and over again, why him and not someone else. Then there are others that are gone that you wish you could have back just for the tiniest moments to get a hug, some advice, or find out what their life was like. Unfortunately, the time for all these things is in the past, but that doesn’t make remembering them any different.

The headstone of my grandfather, Louis, 

and his sister, Florence, near New Windsor, NY.

Now as I’m getting older, I’m finding myself ask questions about the ones who have passed whom I may and may not have known. By researching my family history, on all sides, I’m finding I keep asking myself, what would that person have been like? Would they have been someone everyone liked or were they an abusive person (either mentally or physically) in which their own children couldn’t even stand?  Couple that with history of the different countries and governments, and after a while, you could really start to understand why people could have been like they were but keeping in mind things may not have been as they have seemed. Remember it’s only been in the last 20 or so years, that people don’t keep up appearances as they once did. Further, things that were socially acceptable over 20 years ago are not so acceptable now – and vice versa.

In my thoughts at this point in the year, my remembrance meaning is about what we, as a couple, have lost personally. If I had been able to carry to term, we would have a 10 year old child this week. It does seem hard to believe, but it would have been a fact. It came down to the simple fact that either both of us would not have survived or only one of us. The fact is I was the one that ended up

surviving because the baby was in the wrong spot. As with the other loved ones who have passed, I sit here thinking about what would the baby been like – it’s personally, looks, and character. This is something we will never know, because that baby, child, tween has never been born unfortunately. This is where my thoughts are this week in regards to remembrance. Does that make any less meaningful than the other loved ones that have passed? No, but to me, it is something we’ll never have, my husband and I, with this baby.

In closing, recently I asked people on my Facebook account what the word remembrance means to people on there, I had the responses of:

• Someone's life, memories
• Funerals and lives lived
• After someone has died, thinking back appreciatively about all the good things they have done in their lifetime
• Slouch hats, the last post, medals

All of which I have covered here in this blog entry. Remembrance is what you bring of it and that’s a lot like life – we can sit there and remember but we also have to get out and live life – both those who have lived and who now live would want us to do that, but there come times when we just have to stop and take a break and to remember them. If we don’t, some of life’s lessons may get overlooked. I know when the end credits roll for me (as the George Strait song goes) I want people to think of me more along the lines of hero rather than villain.