"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Colleges & University

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:    

Colleges & University

The Brief:

• Did you go to college and / or University
• if not, did you want to or did you not want to?
• did you perhaps change your mind at a later date?
• What did you study?
• Was your studying vocational or a step on the ladder to another profession?
• What was the educational path you took to get to University or college?
• Where did you go? & why there?
• Regrets of study choice?
• Did you belong to clubs there?
• Friends?
• Pictures?

As always, share what you are comfortable with.

Elementary/Primary to High School
Education was always a big thing with me, but at the same time it was hated because I was always made to feel like I was different because of my learning disability the school system said I had. From elementary school, when it was first noted, I always felt like an outcast whenever I was at school because I was always separated from everyone else for most of the day because I needed "special" classes they said.

This went with my envelop with the award in 5th grade

My fifth grade teacher, Mr McGinnis, took the time and spent time with me to make me feel special and made me feel like I was like everyone else. It was the first time I ever felt like that - ever.  

An award I won in 5th grade

Then it ended and I was mixed back in and it seemed like I was shuffled around a bit more. I got frustrated and started to let grades slide. I just didn't care any longer especially after my ankles started to cause programs and the teacher, Mrs Goldberg, took it out on me like it was my fault. Again, it caused me to be separated out from everyone else and after awhile I didn't care anymore. My grades slid. 

Then something, I have no idea what, clicked and my grades started to go up by the 8th grade. To the point where half way through the school year they took me out of my lower math class and put me into the higher class. I did struggle but so would anyone who came into the class when it was 2/3 of the way through the school year. Ever since then, I've had a hate relationship with math. However, I started putting in a tiny bit of effort and my grades went up and up. I fought to take beginners French, and ended up making a deal of if my grades slid then I was out of the class, but if they didn't then I was to stay in the class. I stayed and finished with almost a A or 90 grade level.  Needless to say I told them don't ever tell me no because I will fight you - the guidance counselor smiled and knew I meant what I said. 

Orange-Ulster Vocational Center in Goshen, NY

Trade/Vocational School
Then came talk of what to take for my 11th and 12th classes. I told them I wanted to go to Orange-Ulster BOCES or Vocational Center and I wanted something to do with computers. They started saying they didn't know and made noises of it being to hard for me. I just told them if they remember the French class I had just taken. That shut them up quickly. Off I went to do my technical degree in 1990, while finishing up my high school diploma. 



Then I was asked kindly, at first, if I wanted to go to the FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) conference they were having. I knew money was a problem and told them no. Then they asked again, and I rejected it again. Then about 3 months before I was told they really wanted me to go and would help me in any way possible. Personally, I think they did it because I was getting board and kept "visiting" the other two classes in the hall to see what they were learning and then going back to my class because I was bored. Anyhow, they found out about the financial situation, so they put it if we could sell enough cookies then that would pay for the trip except for spending money. Then I agreed, only to find the teachers said there were competitions and they wanted me to go into the Financial Information Processing contest. I was told it wasn't easy, but just do the best I could. They gave me practice exams and I asked many questions as to what it contained and slowly figured things out. Apparently no one ever won any plaques from there for the competition, but they kept trying. 


Clubs & Organizations
Anyhow, I buckled down and got to studying how things went together and put things together to make sense to me. I had them give me tests and figured out where I went wrong - and I kept up with all my studies both at Orange-Ulster Vocational Center AND at Valley Central High School. This is in addition to working part time and watching and visiting my nieces, who I am very close to. 

Then came the weekend I was to go away to the conference in Rochester, New York. Most of the weekend was a blur I have to admit. What I can remember is when it came time to sit down and take that test, I started to freak out. Then I calmed down and focused - problem after problem. Then it was over with. For myself, I felt like I failed - myself because I didn't get it done, the school because I thought I got more wrong than right due to my freaking out and just felt like an idiot. Then came the last day and the presentation of awards. How flabbergasted was I when I tied for 5th place in all of the state of New York? I don't remember walking to the stage, but I remember all the lights and flashes of cameras going off. Apparently, I was the only one (to that point) to ever win anything at one of these conferences. 

By the time June 1991 arrived, I finished both High School and Orange-Ulster Vocational Center's courses - both with high 90's grade point averages. I ended up inducted into both Honor Societies, and was given the Outstanding Student Award at Orange-Ulster Vocational Center. I even ended up winning a small scholarship.

Orange-Ulster BOCES Vo-Tech Award

BOCES Vo-Tech Honor Sash

VCHS Honor Cords

Scholarship Award from the PTO

My official card to the Honor Society

 












Community College
Then I started college at Orange County Community College (OCCC) (www.sunyorange.edu - however each time I try this link its broken) in Middletown, New York in the fall of 1991. It wasn't encouraged at all. If anything it seemed like I shouldn't be going because it was all a waste of time. My mother was trying to pull me to get a full time job after the first 6 months (which I ended up getting 3 part time jobs). I had a difficult time at first as it was different studying than what I was used to and it took me about a year to adjust and my grades sucked - in addition to the school threatening me to do better or get out. Once I did, everything was fine - I wasn't a great student but I was no longer failing either.

Clubs at Community College
I got into the Computer Club. First as a member and by the time I graduated from OCCC, I was Vice President of the club and we won Club of the Year. A first for the club as everyone didn't know much about the club, but by the end of the year they did. 

Computer club trip to Boston, MA

One year's members for the Computer Club

Winning the club of the year award

In summer of 1994, I graduated from OCCC in Business Computer Technology. It was quite a deal as there was over 30 people that started and there was only 8 of us who finished. I was proud of what I accomplished if nothing else.

State University
In the winter of 1994, I was talking to a group of friends about what I was going to do. I could stay and look for jobs in the area but chances were not good unless I wanted to be an office worker. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but my passion was coding. I fell in love with lines of code - I could sit down and write and figure it out without a problem. In the end I was talked into taking out a couple of huge loans and went for 2 terms (one in 1995 and one in 1996) to SUNY Institute of Technology at Utica/Rome (now known as SUNY Polytechnic Institute). Financially I knew it was going to be a struggle, but I figure at the end at least I would be able to get some place. However, the struggles with the financial side of things was too much for me and I ended up leaving because I just couldn't affording. The one great thing that came about was I met my husband while away at SUNY. It resulted in me leaving the US and moving to Australia.

Australian University
Once life started to slow down a bit and I had a bit of money to spare, I applied for and got into Monash University as a distance learner. I was working about 60 hours a week as and EDP operator /
Assistant Manager when the IT manager wasn't around for P&O. My grades where in the normal range - about a C level. I was happy with that. However, I ended up loosing my job which meant I could no longer finish my degree - again. Further, they kept changing the course name and courses and it frustrated me to no end.

It took me awhile to find another employment position for some reason. After this, I gave up taking classes unless they were small ones. I figured they weren't getting me very far so why bother? Then when there was rumour of job losses (one of them was my level) I looked again and figured I could get the paperwork of what I have been doing for years - coding webpages. It was still coding, which I hadn't given up I had just switched from mainframe to pc based and then into webpage based coding.

Vocational/TAFE

In 2013, I received my Certificate IV in Training and Assessment, at Chisholm TAFE, so I could teach in the Learn Local sector.  This is I could help out the community by teaching business, IT or computer classes. Shortly after, I lost my government position as they had cut my entire level within our department.

In July 2014, I finished up a Certificate IV in Web Based Technology, at Chisholm TAFE, with HD grades - high distinction grades. HD is basically 100 or nearly 100% of a grade. I was thrilled and figured it wouldn't be too long before I had a job.

However, sitting here just starting 2015, and still no full time job prospects. Now I'm wondering if the investment I put in for my Certificate IV was really worth it as I'm still not working in that industry.

  Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.    

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Family Traits

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:    

Family Traits

The Brief:

• Do you exhibit any family traits?
• Do you even recognise them or simply accept them as face value?
• Do traits exist or are they simply a coincidence?

My first step to this post was to look up the words family traits. And even in doing that was interesting. Why you ask? The answer is there was more than one definition.

Ask defines it as:

"A family trait is a genetic likeness that is passed through parents' genes to their children. Most specific traits are passed directly from one parent. Genetic disorders are also traits that can be passed from a parent to a child." and "Recessive traits can be passed down by both parents. Green eyes and blue eyes are considered recessive traits, so a child with one blue-eyed parent and one green-eyed parent can have either eye color. Other recessive traits include nearsighted vision, red hair, blond hair, thin lips and attached earlobes."

Teach Genetics at University of Utah defines it as:

"Traits can be inherited from a parent, or traits can be learned. Family and cultural traditions often influence learned traits. "

As you can see, it depends on your definition as to which way you look at this prompt.

Inherited down from parents
I think I inherited my blue eyes, brown hair from both parents. As I've been researching, I've found that many of my ancestors had both brown hair and blue eyes which, to me, seems strange as usually you have a blonde or red head thrown in there.

Dad & I

Mom & I

I do have red highlights in my hair, which we think come from some ancestor in the past from Ireland. I do have Irish DNA (a tiny bit) which is probably why I have the red highlights in the hair.

I do know my annoyed or angry face I get from my mother. As everyone tells me, when I'm mad there is no doubt in anyone's mind as the annoyance factor.

I get the height from my mother as we are or were within a few inches of each other.

Inherited Traits
I'm not sure what traits I've inherited as I'm more of my own person. I do know that family means everything to me and if someone goes to hurt or do something to one of them, I'm there for them. I'm like that with my friends as well. Where do I get this? I have no idea. This might be just a by product of my Polish heritage and I have that from both sides of the family.

EU and Belgium flags

I know I've been told I'm a human Switzerland as well. In fact, when I was at my trade school at Orange Ulster BOCES or Vocational Center, the teacher would have me hash out differences with people because I treated each side the same and would work to get them do have a friendly outcome. The same thing when I was at the Computer Club at OCCC. They would have me work out differences. Could this be my Belgium side coming out? After all Belgium is the official seats of the European Commission, Council of the European Union, and European Council, as well as a seat (officially the second seat but de facto the most important one) of the European Parliament as Wikipedia states.

I'm not sure what other traits I have except for fighting. This must be the German coming out because the German's I've always known love to fight.

I'm not sure what other traits or other parts I've gotten from anyone as I've usually made my own way in my life rather than play follow the leader.

  Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.    

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Inherited Items

is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:    

Inherited Items

The Brief:

There is something very special about inheriting an item from a family member. It doesn't have to be the riches, in terms of monetary value, or in the finest condition. Sometimes, just knowing that an item has stood the test of time in whatever shape it is now, is enough.

That link between the past, present and future as you in turn pass it along.

This week share those thoughts, memories and pictures. Lets having a trip down memory lane as with the passing along of each item there is always memories attached.

Items passed along
Inherited Items are something that cannot every be replaced. Its not the cost of them, its who the item has represented. In fact, things haven't exactly been explained to me when they have been handed down.They were here you go. It wasn't until I was older I understood what happened.


Grandma Jean
Grandma Jean I spent alot of time with growing up. I used to spend two weeks of the year with her, which was interesting as I never knew what we'd get up to, but I did know we would drive some place in her car, watch "Days of Our Lives" and play cards. These things she loved to do.

One of the other things she passed along was Polish foods - usually what we term Bow Ties and another dumpling type of food. She did make pickled pigs feet, but I never liked them. Now every Christmas, or when I'm thinking about her, I make the Bow Ties.

Bow ties or chrusciki I made

When I was about 9 or 10, she once gave me a small pot with some small cups. She said she played with them when she was growing up. She then gave them to me. Because of our constant moving, they were broken over time, which always made me sad. Out of the whole set, I only have one tiny cup left which I've glued together.

Great Cousin James (Jimmy)
The other thing that was given to me by my mother, was her cousin Jimmy's air force wings. I have mentioned these before in my posts. He gave these to her on his last night of his leave before he was shipped out. About 3 weeks later, he was killed in a flight.

Great Cousin Jimmy's wings

What makes these so much more important was when I asked my mother what happened to him and why was he killed and buried, she didn't know. This was one of the two persons (the other was my Grandma Jean) who got me started in genealogy. Because of this, I feel a special connection to them both.

Mystery solved - what happened to Great Cousin Jimmy

Great Grandpa Adam
I do know my great grandfather Adam (Grandma Jean's father) had left my father a watch which was powered by the pulse in your arm. My father then gave it to my brother, Charlie, as he was the only male heir. I'm not sure where it is today.

Our "Children"
Since the children were confirmed, we celebrate these each year by remembering them when we put an ornament on the tree. As its looking more and more likely we won't have children, I'm not sure if anyone will continue this tradition once we are gone.

Our 2 confirmed pregnancies - angel is our Feb baby I miscarried and the bootie is for Jamie Sweetpea who was our ectopic pregnancy.

Mental / Emotional Abuse
Unfortunately, this is one of the things that must be talked about when you mention things passed down in my family. It must be talked about in order to stop the cycles. From what I've been able to find, on my maternal side, my grandfather did it (but so did my great grandfather to him and his siblings too), my great grandfather Jagodzinski (mother's mother's father) I believe did it as well (because none of his children wanted anything to do with him), my father wasn't a sterling example either, but I'm not sure if his father could have passed it down as well. As you can tell, each time the abuse occurred it was carried down the line. Its time it has to stop. Thankfully, as far as I can tell, this has been done with my generation for the most part.
The Future
Rings
I know one thing my grandmother wanted was to pass down rings to each of the girls in the family. The rings were solitaires of their birth stone. My grandmother bought one for me and had me promise to hand it down. However, the stone came out and then upon moving the band part of the ring was lost. I have plans to replace this as soon as I can.

Further, once I am able, I will buy my 3 nieces rings and they all can be passed down from them to their children. Again, if we are ever blessed with a living child, they too, will get a ring or watch as well to pass down.

Ornaments
Also, in the past 2 years, as I've been finding out more about my backgrounds, I have bought unique Christmas ornaments for each name of the family. I have then labelled them with the family name and have it labelled in both English as well as the language that was common to them. Note: I haven't been able to source any from Belgium or Denmark, so I haven't been able to do those sides of the family. If I don't find them soon, I will have to get the ornaments from another place close to those countries.

Stories
I have plans to write up each persons life story as far as I can find it and give those out as well. However, this might take me a lifetime to do to do everyone as I am still in the research mode.

As you can see, you have many different ways you can remember people. As they are part of you, they should be remembered - from the good to the bad. This is the only way to stop the circles of abuse and meanness that has been passed down from one generation to the next.

  Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.    

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Godparents

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:    

Godparents

The Brief:

• Did / Do your Godparents feature a great deal in your life
• Do you know your Godparents?
• How do they link in to your family?
• Other stories or influences from your Godparents
• Are you Godparents to anyone?

I guess the best way to start this prompt would be to state the facts as I know them.

Facts:

• I was baptized as Catholic or Roman Catholic sometime in the last part of 1972.
• The baptism was done at St. Patrick's Church in Newburgh, New York. 
• I did/do have godparents; however I do not know, for certain, who these are. My oldest sister, Theresa, said that she wanted to be one but my mother told her she was too young. 
• My baby book, which was given to me by my mother, was destroyed in a house fire in May 1997, before I had a chance to read it.

May 1997 newspaper about the fire

As you can see, I do have godparents but don't actually know who they are. I only know the baptism took place at St. Patrick's because my sister said we all were baptized there. However, I do not know for certainty this is the case due to the loss of my baby book.

From St. Patrick's Flickr page

I have tried to contact St. Patrick's in the past and have never received a response. I will have to try and contact them again to see if I can get a copy of the certificate. It would be interesting to see who my godparents are/were.

Note to self: Contact St. Patrick's again for certificate.

Religion in my life

Growing up, religion was never a big part of my life. I have always put it down to something to do with my grandmother Janet or everyone was just too busy to go. As far as I can remember, I've never regularly gone to church. My grandmother Janet was apparently almost consumed with praying and the church, to the point where this was a major factor when they put her into a mental hospital. I think this played a major factor into how church was looked at with myself and my siblings.

Trinity Lutheran Church where I went a few times growing up

Growing up, I have gone to many of the different religious churches and/or places. I have always been curious and gave almost everything a try at one point. I did not convert, but I went and watched the different services and sometimes even went to Sunday school which was weird because I wondered why kids would go to more school on the weekend when they didn't have to.

While in high school, I was always too busy to go. This does seem like a cop out, but when you need money to survive to live, sometimes you must make sacrifices. During these times and into college, I was either in class, studying, or working. The little time that was left over I spent sleeping, making meals or shopping for food. There was no other time left.

The alter at St. Patrick's where my grandmother and uncle's funerals were held

I do remember when my grandmother passed away, my uncle had to talk to St. Patrick's in order for my grandmother's services to be held there. My uncle attended the church every Sunday without fail. Then when came the time for my uncle's services, they had the full service. I still remember this day as it was very hot out and someone in the group asked if they walked in would the church fall down on them because they haven't been in so long. It was funny, in a way, the way it was said because we were all in the same thinking area.

To Believe or not to Believe
I do believe in everything that is Catholic and, for the most part, support it. The only thing I don't do is go to church. That being said, were were not married in the church, only because of the look we wanted and because my husband has never been baptized to his knowledge. We also didn't want to sit through classes, and didn't have the time, due to immigration restrictions.

It was these beliefs, in the thoughts of trying for children, make things so hard. I still remember the day it was confirmed I was pregnant. Then came the tiny bit of spotting. Upon going into the hospital, they found the baby was in my tube - ectopic pregnancy. There was only one way to save my life - to take the baby's. No way, no how that's how I felt and they knew a battle was on as it went against all
of my religious beliefs. Then it came to me, the Pope had revised the views - if it was to save the life of the mother. I was still against it, but understood it was ok by the church but my convictions still, even to this day, say it shouldn't have happened. True, I would be gone, but at least I wouldn't then have to deal with the guilt of killing a baby. Again, this is to do with faith as well as myself internally.

Respect of Each Other
Everyone either believes or doesn't believe in religion. Everyone is different in the ways they look at things. I have friends that are of all faiths - ones that don't believe at all through to the ones that believe and they attend the faith of their heart sometimes many times a week. To me it doesn't matter as its just apart of the person. The persons I have a hard time with are the ones that continuously state over and over again and won't talk about anything else but their chosen religion. To me, these people sound like they are trying to brain wash others to their way of thinking and that's just not right.

  Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.    

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Movies

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:    

Movies

The Brief:

• What is your feel good movie?
• Can you remember the first time you went to the cinema?
• What did you see?
• Can you remember the price?
• Who did you go with?
• Recall those magical movie moments?
• What is your favourite movie or favourite genre?

Growing up, I loved movies, but they had to be on TV or else I couldn't see them as we didn't have extra money to go to the movies. Usually they had to be playing on normal TV to be watched and then it was HBO or Cinemax as that was the only cable we had.

Drive ins
I do know I did go to the drive ins with my oldest sister, Theresa a bit. The last movie I saw in one of those was in Maybrook and it was "On Golden Pond" in 1981.  The drive in only survived until about 1997 or 1998 when it was turned into apartment houses.

Today we do go to the drive in that's about 10 minutes down the road on the South Gippsland freeway. I can't remember what was the first movie we went there to see though.

Movie Theaters 
I can't remember what the first movie was that I saw. It might have even been into my teens before I went to a movie theater. I do know when I was in my teens, I did go and see movies, but usually it was the latest Star Wars movie that was out.

Feel Good Movies & Genre
I don't have a feel good movie really. I do know I watch a lot of romance movies, like the Danielle Steele movies, or Hallmark movies. Sometimes the TV stations even put these movies on during the day or on the weekends when they think no one's at home.

I do like comedy but I have to be in the mood for it or I need to be cheered up. Action and murder, I must be in the mood to watch them.

I do have some older tickets of the movie tickets but I have to dig them out as they are around here some place.


  Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.    

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Is Blood thicker than Water?

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:    

Is Blood thicker than Water?

The Brief:

We all have them. 

• Family that are like friends
• Family that are like acquaintances
• Friends that are like family
• Friends that are new, but seem old ones!
• Family members that are like strangers
• Emotional links to generations past?

Does it matter how we feel about the friends and family we have?

Is it a case of when the times comes family comes first?
Define good friends
How do you distinguish friends -

• real
• virtual 
• colleagues
• long term friends
• does it not matter

This is an interesting post and topic. As growing up I only knew my immediate family and my grandmother and uncle on my father's side. However, I had friends through the different schools I went to. In fact, most of my friends today are from those days (some I've known over 35 years!). By high school I had pretty much figured out who is a true friend and ones that say they are but either they talk about you behind your back or stab you in some way. There are some friends that are friends but they are the quiet sort. I've got a range of the different friends.

In fact, some of my friends are closer to me than even my family his - a sad but true fact. People who are your family should love and respect you unconditionally - although you will have fights and argue over time which is a sign of a healthy relationship - but they shouldn't just ignore you until they want something. With my family, you really do need a score card of who's talking to whom and who's ignoring whom, because without it, you are lost.

New found family
Now that being said, I've now found some cousins and an uncle that I never knew existed. We are slowly getting to know each other and have found we have common likes and dislikes and goals in life which is great. We're finding that bond of family. Hopefully, it will continue to grow and the families will reunite as they should.

Direct family members
Now that being said, I do have one "outstanding" sister. She's a bitch and admits she's a bitch and is actually proud of that fact. Personally, I wouldn't be, but to each their own. I haven't spoken to her in about 18 years. Why? Well, let's just say I had enough of the name calling and other things she spoke about and it was time to say enough. I'm not the only one she's alienated over the years. Our other 2 sisters don't want contact with her as well because she's done something similar to them I think. I think her 2 sons have seen the light and have backed away from her as well. I do have some contact with at least one of them, although its not regular contact.


You can never have too much family. I know mine seems to overwhelm me in large amounts, but you take time out for other things and then family isn't so bad.

Friends
Like I stated above, I have had some friends over 35 years. We don't talk every day but we don't need to. We respect each other and if there's anything any of us needs, the others will be there for us.

That being said, there are others who try and use these friendships to either get further or just turn against you and say awful things they know aren't true. These are the testing friendships - usually I give people a warning or two and then I throw up my hands and walk away. I figure if they want the relationship bad enough, then they will contact me to talk about it.

I also have friends which are more of acquaintances because we don't actually talk about anything other than what's currently happening but we don't generally meld together though hobbies and such. Its not a bad thing, its just more of a general friend relationship rather than a deeper emotional one is all.

Virtual Friends
I do have some of these, where we met online through something happening or a hobby but we never met in person. Sometimes these do intend to cross over to IRL (in real life) meetings. Back when we (hubby and I) first started using the internet and Bulletin Boards (yes we've been around that long), we used to have "meets". In fact, when I moved to Australia, I had a small group of people I "met" online meet me at the airport along with hubby and his family.  Then later on, I went to a few meets here in Melbourne to catch up with them. In fact, we had a table at our wedding for people who would attend meets that met online!

In conclusion, relationships are what you make of them. You must judge each person on their actions and what they say and not what others tell you. Why? Well that's simple, if someone wants the others to look or feel in a bad way, by telling another person a lie or twisted fact which could cause their relationship to turn. Only your experiences will tell you want is right and wrong with each person. It doesn't matter if this is a friends or family - as we are all people and its in how you treat each other.

Some pictures of my friends & family:

 

  Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.