"The Book of Me, Written by You" - What are your priorities?

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:    

What are your priorities?

The Brief:

The American author, Kathleen Winsor owns this quote:

"Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should do, they never get around to do what they want to do."

So, what do you want to do? how can you achieve that? and why is it important to you?

I want to know, at least name, most of my ancestors back within their own homelands. I'm trying to figure out why some of them were the way they were. Was it because of what they were shown growing up? Or where they the "blacksheep" of the family? Did they just run off to the United States and never contacted "home" again? Did they have emotional abuse put to them and that's why they passed it down? Same with drinking? Same with gambling? Where they using any of these to help deal with at least one of the other abuses?

Why won't they speak to each other? Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil?

I'm also trying to find out why my family (all parts it seems) just stop speaking to another part of the family. My cousins and I have been trying to figure this out and we can't think of any logical reason why siblings, such as a sister and brother, just stop talking and don't try and find each other for over 40 years. Why? What could have been so bad they just move and stop all communication with them? As I've been researching, I've found this was very common within my family - my paternal side has done it (my father to his father's family), my maternal side has done it (my mother to her brother, uncle's, aunts on both her mother's side and her father's side).

A picture of me in the 1980s

What makes this very heartbreaking is that growing up, I felt like I fell out of the turnip truck and someone decided to pick me up and bring me home. There was no talk of uncles (unless it was my father's side), no aunts (again unless it was the aunt that was married to my paternal uncle), no cousins (unless it was the paternal side), no second cousins, no nothing. In fact, when I sit thinking about it even once my siblings married and left, most of the year we didn't hear from them either - unless they wanted something like me babysitting their kids. Its sad when you think about it.

Are these part of my family? If so how...so many questions so little answers!

Because of the findings and thoughts, one thing is certain - these cycles MUST be broken - somehow and some way. I've started to break the cycle, but finding an uncle and cousins on my maternal side. We are just beginning to get to know each other. That being said, we want to find out the common links between the Gauquie last name in Belgium and the VanRompaye's and who is exactly related to us. I'm not sure what's happening but there is NO mention of Jules. I'm starting to think no one liked
him, so they sent him to the US with his other cousins. I have recently posted on a website which has many Gauquie's on it - Geneanet. I am hoping someone sees my posts on there and contacts me. If not, then I do have a few more avenues to explore - contacting one name which lists Gauquie's but I'm not completely sure on how we're related and making a Facebook page up with the last name Gauquie on it in hope we might all connect, and lastly hiring someone to do research in the area. I'll give my post in Geneanet some more time and then think about the other options.

From Wojtkowice? I don't know...

On my father's side, its not that easy. Why? Because my father doesn't want to talk about his father's side at all, so its hard because the name Matthew Schmitz is very common name in Germany. On my father's maternal side, I'm trying to track the Polish side back, but again its hard. Why? Because the town they came from Wojtkowice, as at the start of the 1900 century, everyone's name in the tiny
town was Wojtkowski. Because of this, I'll have to go to the Parish and get records which isn't very easy because I don't speak/read/write in Polish, Russian or Latin. Its a bit of a barrier. Again, I do have a few options like this outline in the Gauquie last name; however, there is no other relatives that I can explore with, so that isn't an option.

I also want to explore the DNA options that are out there. I have done the testing through Family Tree DNA, but understanding it and how it all links is something else altogether. I've had my DNA for about a year now and I'm still having trouble understanding it. 

And my DNA shows....

Whether doing the above mentioned things will pay off for everyone in the long run I don't know. Besides we don't any children to pass this information along to, I just hope other nieces and nephews and family will find it useful and important in the future.

  Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.