Jo's Personal Blog at Blogger.com: 01/01/2014

Monday

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Daily Routine(s)

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:

The feeling of home

The Brief:

Do you have a daily routine?
Did your parents? Grandparents?
Why did they (or you ) have this routine?
Where did this routine take place?
Structure - Is this important to you? or your family?

My mother on her way to work

My mother thrived on having a routine. She left 2 hours early to get to work as a shift worker at the local bag shop. She worked one week during the day and the next week in the afternoon and evenings. If she was home, we would have dinner at 4:30pm in the afternoon and then watch News and entertainment shows in the early evening.

My father, I could never see a routine. Most of the time on Sundays, when it was his allotted custody time for having me, he would do 1 of 3 things - forget and not show up (and my mother being my mother would have me up and dressed by 8am waiting for him and I wasn't to move from the couch or chair) - would call in mid afternoon saying he wasn't coming - and lastly, he showed up at different times to get me. The last, unfortunately, would happen more when I was younger, but as I was growing up, he did the first two quite often. By the time I was 8-10 years old (I can't exactly remember the age), I had enough and told them I wasn't going to be doing it any longer. If my father wanted to see me, he could call and see if I was busy.

My grandmother, before her death, always took me during the summer. I think this helped my mother out with what to do with me over the long US summer breaks.

As you can see, I never really had a daily routine. If anything my routine was around moving. Every 3 or so years we would moved from one place to another. This continued until I graduated from high school and then it was only because I don't think my mother could figure out where else to move us. Once I moved to Australia, within months, my mother moved once again within the state of NY. I think she was having moving withdrawals. Even today she moves about every 4 or so years and she's in her 70's.

I did try and create a routine as I had always heard of bedtimes, but when I tried to do this, my mother kept asking me why I was going to bed when I did. After about a year I gave up trying.

The only thing that was a given was the time I spent outside. When the street lights came on, I had to be in the house.

There are many more but I couldn't find a better picture than this

If anything, out of our household, the only one that works on a daily routine is the dog, Buddy. He "needs" his breakfast of wet dog food between 6:30-9am. Then when he sees us eat our lunch, he goes in and has his "lunch" by eating his dry dog food. When he sees me in the kitchen in late afternoon or early evening, he knows I'm making dinner and wanders in looking a me and this is his hint for his wet food "dinner". We eat and then when my husband is doing the dishes, Buddy watches him and when he's done he gets his treat for the night. Even when I head towards bed later at night he

Our doggies in 2007 Jackie (left) and Buddy (right)

knows its bedtime and he gets under the covers and cuddles with me. If both of us go out the door, he knows he gets his treat and barks at us and even has stood between us and the front door to make sure he gets his treat. This is every day. If we try to go away from this (as we had this routine because of another dog, Jackie, had diabetes and that was how we controlled giving him his insulin shot) to something even a bit normal like one bit of food a day, and we've tried both morning and night, he jumps all over us, wakes us up, and barks at us until we give him his tiny bits of food.

Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.

Friday

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - The feeling of home

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

The prompt for the week is:

The feeling of home

The Brief:

Home means different things to different people, so this week we are going to explore what it means to us

What does it feel like?
How do you recognize it?
What makes it home - people, place, time

The most common phrase I always hear is "Home is where the heart is". Growing up, I didn't understand this concept. Even now, I think I understand it but it still feels foreign to me. This is confusing and I'll like to warn you, not everyone (within my family) will be happy to read some of the things below, but its what I feel.

I believe that home is what you make of it. Growing up, we had a place to live...and I visited my father on Sundays. Home? That is probably what I made out of those 2 places. That being said, we moved every 3-5 years when I was growing up, so once I started to feel comfortable, I guess would be the name of it, it would be time to move once again.

Early 1990s with a small group of my friends

Fast forward this to high school, and what I realized was that my physical address and the people in it might change, but my friends in school that were around me almost never did. If anything, there always seemed to be a few people that didn't belong any place so we accepted them into the group of us. There was one year when we moved from one part of the state to another, but that only lasted for about a year and then I went back to the original school and most of the group was still around, although people were changing and the one group was splitting bit by bit, but no matter what if anyone needed us we were all there for them.

We had a few issues within the family and then there was college at the local college I went to. The old group in school went their own ways and it seemed like I made what I could out of it. Made some new friends and learned quite a bit about relationships. In fact, one of the classes I took, psychology 101, actually went over relationships and why they are formed, etc. For me this was great because I started to understand people within the family and what they do and the reasons behind the way the groups and people were in high school. Interesting and informative.

By the time I was ready to complete my Associates Degree, I understood living compared to feeling accepted. Unfortunately I had both my in my life which is why I've always had the problem understanding the difference between a house to a home and the statement "Home is where the heart is" and I understand why.

A house can be a place you live and existing with common people which you have a relationship with. A home is where you find yourself completely accepted for who you are without reservation or judgement. This is why the term home is so difficult to understand for some people - if you don't have those types of relationships with a group of people then you wouldn't fully understand those statements.

Did I have a family that cares for me? Yes, but I never truly got the feeling as they accepted me completely and without reservations. They took care of me and made sure I had food, and a roof over the head, but the feelings? That's another story.

A few years ago - a group of my friends and I from high school

Over the last 10 plus years, I've reconnected with some of my friends in high school. The best thing about it is it feels like it hasn't been those many years since we last saw each other. It was great to feel that relaxed around people I grew up around.

So do I have a home? Yes, I believe once we got married, we truly have a home where everyone is welcome (to a degree which is a long and personal story), but everyone must be accepted and respected above all else because our family and friends which walk through the door are loved because of these things and that IS what a home is. I know as a person, all I've ever wanted was to be completely accepted.

Us in front of our home

Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Hobbies & Collections

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

The prompt for the week is:

Childhood Hobbies & Collections

The Brief:

Did you share a "passion" with a family member or friend?
Tell us about it - How, why, where
Do you still have any old hobbies - the ones that have been with you since childhood?
Do you still have those childhood collections?

I had many hobbies and collections growing up. Both of which has stayed with me in some respect throughout my life up until now. Sometimes there was a break from doing them, but I've always gone back to what I like and love to do.

Hobbies
I had many of these growing up. This was always a challenge because we never had any extra money really laying around, so you had to be creative and think a bit out of the box.

TV - I loved my television. From Soaps (Ryan's Hope - how many remember that one!) to the "newest" TV shows (like Buck Rogers, Mork & Mindy) to sports (Got to love the Yankees!) I just loved it. I was always entertained and later intrigued by how they could tell stories from different angles and make them seem soo real and believable. During summer, the Yankees were the one think I looked forward to watching no matter what.

Dogs and Puppies - I've always loved pets. Over the years we've had many different types of dogs, many stray cats, rabbits, guinea pigs, and many gold fish that never seemed to last long. However, it was a common theme to always have some type of pet running around. The only time I hadn't had a pet was when we moved during my senior year of high school until I moved out and got married (about 5-6 years) and that was only due to where we lived wouldn't allow us to have pets. In fact, when we moved into the apartment, we had to give the 2 pekinese dogs we had up which was really sad. Since I married, we had dogs once we moved into our own house.

My library card from elementary school and a reading award

Reading - Reading I've done since I could string sentences together. In fact, I used to help out at the library in elementary school. Most kids wanted to go outside and run around and,I wanted, and usually asked, to go to the library. You know its a sad day when in 5th grade my homeroom was across the hall from the library and I was excited about it because it wasn't very far to the library. Everyone else was complaining because of the stairs. In fact, once I read just about every book at the elementary school, I took up going to the local library and checking books out from there. I went there almost every day after school just to sit and read.

The local public library where I grew up

Throughout the years, I've read many types of stories - from Planet of the Apes (now that's one think and heavy book!) to romances and sci fi. In fact, during the early part of the 2000's, I used to do book
reviews for Harlequin Mills & Boon here in Australia. It was great because I got to read books before the hit the shelves and was able to give great feedback on them. It helped the hip pocket because by this time I was buying my books.

In fact, in the past 10 or so years, I've been tossing up if I should try and write my own book, but for now its just that - a passing thought.

Running - When I was in elementary school, I lived at the edge of town and would walk to school. One day I took up jogging and then followed that up by running. It was great and I loved to do it because it cleaned out the head and actually made me relax. First, I started to help out more with family and then I hurt my back and it hurt to run, so I stopped. However, this brought me to my next hobby - Bike Riding.

One of my results of running growing up

Bike Riding - I took this up more once I realized it didn't hurt my back as much as running did. I did have a bike but if I had to choose I'd choose running over using a bike. However, that was taken from me, so I rode my bike. In fact, it was great because I liked it and I could get over to help out with family (as we now lived in town but they lived out of town - around in farm fields back then) and I could take my bike (a ten speed) and ride it over to help out.

Swimming - I learned how to swim by going to the local pond and watching others and then going to the library and reading about it. Then by the time summer came, I knew how to swim and I wouldn't feel left out of being able to do what the other kids my age did. It worked and it didn't cost anything which was even better.

Collections

Baseball Cards - When I got to the 4th grade, one of the teachers shared with us baseball cards. I never knew about them and they intrigued me with all the information that was contained on them. Once that happened, I started to save some but as this cost money we just didn't have, I had to be careful on what I could afford to buy. Because of this, my collection never got big but I do still have some of these cards. They are in our our garage some place.

Stamp collection - Stamps didn't cost too much, but I would get books out of the library and read all about them. Because of this I did collect some and I just went around asking people to save the stamps. After awhile I realized those stamps didn't actually contain much money in saving, so I stopped. However, during my teens when I started to work, I did join a stamp collection group at the US Postal Service. I still have these today and my husband complains because they are so odd shaped they are hard to put in the book cases.

Some of my stamp collection

My 14K gold Elvis stamp from my dozen or so 14k stamps

As I grew up, I developed more hobbies like picture taking, baking, cooking and driving - just to name a few!

Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - First Present or Gift

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

The prompt for the week is:

First Present or Gift

The Brief:

Can you remember it?
Who bought it for you?
Do you still have it?
Pictures or a description
Other special gifts?

I've talked a bit about what I remember about some of my presents when I was small in my posting about Toys and Games growing up a few posts ago.

This time, however, its about my first presents and gifts. One of my first presents was what we affectionately call "my baby" (see picture below). This was given to my mother and I when I was born and it had flowers coming out of it. I don't know who gave it to me as a gift. As you can see, I still have it, although it has seen better days with all the cracks and breaks. Over the years its been glued, taped and tried to use silly putty trying to keep it together. Since moving into our current home, nearly 14 years ago, its sat on the shelf in the back room with other things that mean a lot to us. This is one of the few things I have of my childhood and cherish it dearly.

My "baby" from one of the first presents I ever got

Up until the time I was making plans to move from the US to Australia in 1996-1997, I had a baby book as well. My mother handed it to me and I put it with other important papers. In late 1996, I visited Australia to see what it was like, what it would be like living here, and other related things. We were about 95% sure I would be the one moving, but I wanted to make sure I could live here. There's nothing like experiencing where you'd be living in. During that trip, I brought over my baby book which my eldest sister, Theresa, filled out mostly for me. However, I hadn't gone through it due to not having the time. My mother handed it to me right before I got on the plane for the visit. I brought it along because I figured I'd leave it here in Australia, so that way nothing would happen to it.

One of the few pictures of me growing up

Little did I know, that someone would come into my soon to be father in law's house, walk into my fiancee's room and start a fire. This fire would claim my baby book and most of my childhood photos. This devastated me because little of my childhood that I knew about was in that book and was just - gone.

1997 a write up in the local newspaper about the fire

However, I had to pull up my grown up pants and move on to what was important - my fiancee, things like shelter, food, and clothing. Then approximately 2 weeks later, we married.

My husband and I on our wedding day in 1997.

Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.

Monday

"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Who Do You Miss?

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

The prompt for the week is:

Who Do You Miss?

The Brief:

Whether that is people who live elsewhere and that we will not see over the festive season
People that have passed away.
Who do you miss?
Why do you miss them?
Them as an individual
Something specific to them

This is a very interesting question to me. I live in a country where I have no direct relatives and I wish some of the people that have passed. Depending on what I'm doing and feeling is who I miss. Because I have such a wide break down, I'm going to break it down into 2 sections - Those who have Passed and Those who don't live Near.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~Those who have Passed ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My Grandmother

My grandmother (on my father's side) Genowefa (nee Wojtkowska) Schmitz or Jean Schmitz. I always remember her especially around Christmas as I remember past Christmas' and visiting with her at my father's. She was one of the major reasons why I went to my father's parties. I always remember her on Christmas Eve (some years its around this time) by baking her Polish bow ties as we called them.

What we call Bow Ties

I remember one year, she asked me what I wanted for Christmas and, besides spending time with her, it was the Polish cookies. When I make these, its like a tiny celebration of the times we spent together and what we did. If only I could have one more Christmas....

My last Christmas card from my grandmother

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
My uncle, John Schmitz. He was such a kind man who always had time for everyone. He was taken way too soon from us. Sometimes I just want to sit and talk to him and see what sense he would make out of today's world and what's going on in it. He was one of those who would know if you just needed company without words or a hug.

My Uncle

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
My grandmother (on my mother's side) and the person who I was named after (besides my mother) Janet (nee Jagodzinsk) Gauquie. I think of her around Thanksgiving as that was the only holiday I ever spent with her when I was between the ages of 6-9. I always wished we knew which hospital she was in (as she would be moved around without them telling us), wished we pushed more to be with her more somehow, and let her know no one forgot about her - we all loved her but due to the hospital, we couldn't spent or see her as much as would have liked.

The hospital, which my grandfather on my mother's side checked her into, would frequently move my grandmother around. Even after we notified them (many times) and made sure they amended her records which we viewed, about my mother being her next of kin, having all of the details for when she passed, etc, we were never notified. We only found out by accident my grandmother was 15 minutes away from us the last few times we saw her. However, within weeks of us visiting a few times, she was moved and all the staff could tell us was she was transferred.

It was only upon starting to do genealogy of the family, I found out she had passed and only lived 15 minutes away from where I grew up.

This being said, I'm not sure how long it will take me, but I want an explanation from the staff and State of New York. I want her medical records to show what exactly was done and what exactly she was committed for. I swear, if those records read "emotional issues" I'm going to give them emotional!

Personally, I think they were under direction from my grandfather (somehow even after he passed) to never let her family with her. I think she probably tried to stand up for herself and as my grandfather couldn't "control his wife" the only he could think to do was to have her committed. After awhile I believe they took away her spirit but not her life. Its all very sad, but I want to her to be treated, in death, with a bit more dignity than what she was treated when she was alive.

That being said, the one Thanksgiving we had with her as a family, I think she loved as I sat there watching her eyes, and STILL remember a tiny bit of spark coming into them even though they had her medicated up to her eyeballs. I think she was fighting as hard as she could to come out and be with us, but just couldn't fight the drugs enough.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Our first baby, Jamie Sweetpea. The baby IS with us all the time; however between the 17 November and New Year's is the hardest part. Each year we formally remember the 2 babies we've lost by putting a remembrance ornament on the tree. In between Christmases, we put the ornaments on our bookshelves with other important mementos. Further, the end of June, when Jamie, would have been born is another time where I sit and reflect. We do have a statue outside which is an angel for Jamie as well.

Its hard to believe that as of this year, Jamie would have been 10 years old. Another person gone too soon for my liking.

A gift from when we lost Jamie

Our remembrance ornaments

The heartbeat of Jamie Sweatpea

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I could go on and on about who I miss that has passed, but I've picked the top people who come to my mind at the moment.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~Those don't live Near ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I actually try and make time to call over and talk to all the major people, that are family, each year. The last 2 years I haven't made it, but I do try. Last year was because we went away over Christmas. This year it was because I was busy trying to go away just after Christmas. I did make it through about 1/2 the list and about 1/2 of them I left messages for.

I would love for those who I generally speak to on or around Christmas day, I would like to visit. This year I would love to sit down and talk to my father (as my mother won't talk to me about this) about more of the family history. As usual, when I spoke to my father the 2 times (I called him once and he called me) we had really good conversations about it. I asked what I thought was a simple question and found out much more than expected about my great grandfather, grandmother and grandfather. I loved it and it explained so much.

My nieces and their children I would love to be around. Christmas is for children and they all have them now. Its a magical time of the year when the kids' faces light right up.

If I believed in miracles, and was granted one, I would have everyone - past and present - together for Christmas and get along - no fights, calling names, or any other nastiness. I would love to see what those have passed would take of the youth today. Then the adults in the group, it would be great to see them all together and catching up with everyone's lives. The downside of this, is that this miracle - I don't believe - will ever be realized.

Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.