"The Book of Me, Written by You" - Is Blood thicker than Water?

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations.

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

This is a journey of finding yourself and how your loved ones see you in their eyes. Further, this can be online and carried forward to share, if you wish, to future generations. - See more at: http://joannfitz.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/the-book-of-me-written-by-you-topic-1.html#sthash.2TuO2bVu.dpuf

The prompt for the week is:    

Is Blood thicker than Water?

The Brief:

We all have them. 

• Family that are like friends
• Family that are like acquaintances
• Friends that are like family
• Friends that are new, but seem old ones!
• Family members that are like strangers
• Emotional links to generations past?

Does it matter how we feel about the friends and family we have?

Is it a case of when the times comes family comes first?
Define good friends
How do you distinguish friends -

• real
• virtual 
• colleagues
• long term friends
• does it not matter

This is an interesting post and topic. As growing up I only knew my immediate family and my grandmother and uncle on my father's side. However, I had friends through the different schools I went to. In fact, most of my friends today are from those days (some I've known over 35 years!). By high school I had pretty much figured out who is a true friend and ones that say they are but either they talk about you behind your back or stab you in some way. There are some friends that are friends but they are the quiet sort. I've got a range of the different friends.

In fact, some of my friends are closer to me than even my family his - a sad but true fact. People who are your family should love and respect you unconditionally - although you will have fights and argue over time which is a sign of a healthy relationship - but they shouldn't just ignore you until they want something. With my family, you really do need a score card of who's talking to whom and who's ignoring whom, because without it, you are lost.

New found family
Now that being said, I've now found some cousins and an uncle that I never knew existed. We are slowly getting to know each other and have found we have common likes and dislikes and goals in life which is great. We're finding that bond of family. Hopefully, it will continue to grow and the families will reunite as they should.

Direct family members
Now that being said, I do have one "outstanding" sister. She's a bitch and admits she's a bitch and is actually proud of that fact. Personally, I wouldn't be, but to each their own. I haven't spoken to her in about 18 years. Why? Well, let's just say I had enough of the name calling and other things she spoke about and it was time to say enough. I'm not the only one she's alienated over the years. Our other 2 sisters don't want contact with her as well because she's done something similar to them I think. I think her 2 sons have seen the light and have backed away from her as well. I do have some contact with at least one of them, although its not regular contact.


You can never have too much family. I know mine seems to overwhelm me in large amounts, but you take time out for other things and then family isn't so bad.

Friends
Like I stated above, I have had some friends over 35 years. We don't talk every day but we don't need to. We respect each other and if there's anything any of us needs, the others will be there for us.

That being said, there are others who try and use these friendships to either get further or just turn against you and say awful things they know aren't true. These are the testing friendships - usually I give people a warning or two and then I throw up my hands and walk away. I figure if they want the relationship bad enough, then they will contact me to talk about it.

I also have friends which are more of acquaintances because we don't actually talk about anything other than what's currently happening but we don't generally meld together though hobbies and such. Its not a bad thing, its just more of a general friend relationship rather than a deeper emotional one is all.

Virtual Friends
I do have some of these, where we met online through something happening or a hobby but we never met in person. Sometimes these do intend to cross over to IRL (in real life) meetings. Back when we (hubby and I) first started using the internet and Bulletin Boards (yes we've been around that long), we used to have "meets". In fact, when I moved to Australia, I had a small group of people I "met" online meet me at the airport along with hubby and his family.  Then later on, I went to a few meets here in Melbourne to catch up with them. In fact, we had a table at our wedding for people who would attend meets that met online!

In conclusion, relationships are what you make of them. You must judge each person on their actions and what they say and not what others tell you. Why? Well that's simple, if someone wants the others to look or feel in a bad way, by telling another person a lie or twisted fact which could cause their relationship to turn. Only your experiences will tell you want is right and wrong with each person. It doesn't matter if this is a friends or family - as we are all people and its in how you treat each other.

Some pictures of my friends & family:

 

  Check back for the continuation of "The Book of me, Written by You" series.  

The Meaning of Father's Day

As we know, Father's Day comes around once a year for most people. For us, we have 2 because the US has a Father's Day in June and Australia has a Father's Day in September. Therefore, as we have fathers in both countries, we have 2 Father's Days and this is special.

The Meaning of Father's Day

 The meaning of Father's Day to me is to celebrate someone who has always supported, loved and been there for you no matter what. It’s the feeling of being secure and knowing that no matter what you've done, your father will always be there for you.

That doesn't mean that there won't be fights, disagreements or punishments as children need these for boundaries are while growing up. In many cases, these will bond a father and a child together and as both get frustrated, upset, and angry but it all works out in the end because of the love, respect and feeling of being secure. These relationships make us who we grow up to be and we pass beliefs from one generation to the next.

As for all the great things Father’s Day means, it also has the other side of the coin for some – those who think it’s their right and to show “affection” by physically, sexually and mentally abuse children. In my view, no one should go through the physical, mental or sexual abuse, but if we face reality, there are people out there who do and think that is their right and it’s no one’s right. Many countries are backing this view up with various against abuse agencies in many countries - from abuse of children and spousal (Australia) and children and spousal (US). If you suffer from one of these, please report it to the authorities because that's the only way to get them help and ensure that it doesn't happen to others.

Ranges of Relationships

There are ranges of relationships from seeing them every now and then to having contact with them every day all day. Each relationship is different; however, sometimes people on either end thing it’s either too much or not enough. The difficult part is being able to be truthful about what you want from the relationship and being able to communicate that to the other person in this case – your father.

I’m not saying that it’s an easy task because all relationships are hard work, but sometimes they fail and that communication, no matter how hard you try, will continue to fail but sometimes the communication will work and everyone will feel better for it. I can now see you thinking, well how can we get the communication to work? Honestly, I don’t know. I think it stems from the type of relationship you had while growing up – if you had a great relationship and feel you could sharethings then it will probably work. However, if you had the type of relationship where you were told one thing and something else was done or felt undermined at every turn in different ways, the communication probably won’t work.


 In closing, in my opinion, even if you had one of the latter types of relationships, where communication was very hard to do, I would still probably keep trying. Let’s face it, we all only have one father – sometimes we get another try by having step father’s and father in laws – but the fact remains your genes will only have come from only one female and one male. Remember that once that male, or father, dies and you don’t have a chance to communicate with him, you lose the relationship and all the history that he is passing down via views and history from that side of your family. I know that trying to keep those communication lines open is very hard (and in some cases very tiring!) work but just keep asking yourself, who’s really going to lose out in the end?

Here's a picture of my father and I in 2011.

What your view? Do you agree or not agree to my point of view? Please comment and let us know what you are thinking.